this is a post written by allan, which i read and felt ashamed of myself. because i’ve been so caught up in my own world that i have not taken the trouble to read about what’s happening outside in the rest of the world. i had no idea it was this bad.

I know my blog has little people reading.. and of course there are only a few people who are close to me read this.. but I hope everyone who read this can spread what I express myself here by either copy and paste or create another article just like this.

Recently I was quite busy with my work and unable to catch up any news around me, til one day my mum told me that Myanmar had a cyclone disaster, the death toll has raised around 78,000 life. We shall be very grateful that our country Malaysia is free from deathly natural disaster. Nothing much seen from the disaster… not much pictures not much information about there.. but then I did donated RM200 for them.

And a day after donating the money… another news come. This time it’s China province Sichuan, I thought it’s just a normal quake. But after a few days.. I know this is the worst ever disaster happened in China for the past three decades. Have you seen all the people there grieving for the death of their death child? For their dead husband or wife? For their dead parents? For their dead grand parents? Not to mention about your boyfriend or girlfriend.. Not even about your friends… They don’t even have the time to think all about their money, house, damaged properties..

See? These people has just not able to express their feeling of sadness. All he knows and able to do is to cry for their dead family member..

Can you imagine that’s your brother? I’d imagine…. I’m so helpless….. I have no idea what can I do..

A lovely girl….. gone through all the suffering and has exchanged her face for her life……. Can you feel her? I only able to feel she felt hopeless… Nothing can be done…. I really feel the “sour” in my heart.

What if the injured lady is your mummy? I cry when thinking of that………………….. I’m not sure how can I live on….. If it’s really happen to me..

Have you ever thought of how good and how lucky we are staying here in Malaysia? Yet I see many people complaining how bad how worse is Malaysia. They always claim that Malaysia is hopeless, but let’s see again. Do you think our land is the best place to live in? At very least we escaped any earth quake, cyclone, heavy rain, heavy snow, and no tsunami. What’s more we can complain more? Even I give you a million now, and all your family member are dead. Are you happy? Can you live on?

With China’s one child for a family. Now their child is dead…………… They have no one else to accompany them for the rest of their life….

This sobbing man is hoping that her daughter can recover from her unconsciousness, can you see how these innocent child taken away from the cruelty of natural disaster? They have no mercy at all. No tolerance at all…………

Do I need to say more?

For those who always waste their food….. Please read the sentence below the above picture…

If you can’t see… I’ll re-type it…

“A girl sleeping in her father’s arms holds an egg after walking more than ten hours to the safest area, May 16, 2008 in Dujiangyan, one of the hard-hit cities, of Sichuan, China.”

People are still complaining Kuala Lumpur has nothing to eat… be grateful that we are now full in stomach.

Next Monday is wesak day, let’s pray for the dead… May them rest in peace. Most importantly please DONATE to these victim of natural disaster. Please……….. Even RM1.00 count. Why are we not able to donate to these people while we can spend RM1,000.00 for a trip, spend RM1,500.00 for a phone or camera? Spend RM1,500.00 for paying up loan for our car loan? Can’t we spend for them too? I’m donating RM500.00 already. Please help. Donate for these poor people. They need our help desperately………………..

Please copy and paste or write an article to encourage people to donate for these poor victim…

Disclaimer: I wrote this without receiving pay from any organization and all the images are taken from New York Times website without permission.

eason is in times square right now and i didn’t know about it and now it’s too damn late to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if only i was still living in vistana then i’d have gone immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMNIT!

刚才，致嬑问我要不要去pasar malam的时候，我对她说，
最近那么忙，见了好多人，说了好多话，做了好多东西，
我今天向留一点时间给自己，
做自己想做的事。

好久好久没有用华文写blog了。
今天也是心血来潮所以就写咯。

上了三年级，虽然还没有正式去到ward上课，
不过已经知道了会很忙很忙，
非一般的忙，非一般的非一般。

心情如何呢……
有一点害怕，有一点期待，也有一点不确定。
不确定自己是否会做达到教授们的期望。
不确定自己会不会一塌糊涂的糟糕。
不确定自己会不会是一个不适合的人。
不确定自己会不会撑得住那么样的生活。
不确定自己会不会喜欢那么样的生活。

不过也算了啦。
那些所谓的不确定，也不过是暂时的而已。
过了几天就知道咯。
完全是新的环境、新的上课模式、新的考试方式、新的人际关系。
真的要到医院里上课了。
想太多也没有用，反正也还是要过的。

加油啦，梁嘉文，我知道你行的。

i am in love with this song right now. heard it on the radio and was totally mesmerized, fell in love instantly.

Apa pun yang terjadi
Berjalan lah tanpa henti
Air mata tertahan
Waktu untuk dijatuhkan

Nanti kita kan tahu
Betapa bijaknya hidup
Sepahit apa pun ini
Pelajaran yang bererti

Semoga pemergianmu
Tak akan merubah apa pun
Semoga mampu ku lawan
Kesepianku

Apa pun yang terjadi
Berjalan lah tanpa henti

词：易家扬 曲：凌伟文
Lyrics: Yi Jia-yang Music: Ling Wei-wen

等于结束的爱情
When love is equal to lost
我和你
You and I
从两个窗口看出去
Looking out from different windows
往事远远地
The past seemed so far away
演着一场无声的电影
Like the showing of a silent movie
没人注意
Where no one pays attention
躲着回忆的身体
With a body where memories are kept
带领我
I am lead
和你的名字向前进
To move on, with your name still with me
作废的曾经
The past, now void,
留在离开你那天挥不去
Abandoned at the day we parted
因为太了解所以很伤心
Because I understand it too well, therefore I grieve,
没有你只好听着风的呼吸
Without you I can only listen to the wind breathe
却有种叫做时间的东西
But then there’s this thing named Time,
说没问题
That tells me everything is fine
最后我们会痊愈
That someday we will heal
因为太了解我无法坚定
Because I understand too well therefore I cannot be sure
这一次会要掉眼泪的决定
This time I think I will cry
有些遗憾只能一个人听
Some things can just be kept to oneself
很对不起
I am sorry
我还是珍惜
But I still cherish
所有的事情
Everything that we had

Just now, when I was in the car, and I was randomly listening to the songs in my phone, it suddenly struck me that this song, it fits me so well today. The original lyrics in Chinese by Yi Jia-yang are absolutely beautiful. And as I always say when I try to translate them, the beauty of Chinese lyrics are lost in translation. I just hope that my sentence-by-sentence literal translation of it can give you a gist of what it is trying to convey…

I hate this whole week. This moving and packing and unpacking and cleaning and miscommunications and misunderstandings and mishaps and arguments and near-arguments and the tension in the air and the invisible pressure from all sides and the task of keeping everything at a balanced point whereby i don’t think i’m doing too well.

I am not strong. I do not want to face all this. I just want to run away and hide. Yet I know I cannot. Bloody hell. I’m starting another phase in life, and yet where the hell is the excitement and the anticipation and the enthusiasm. I hate this I hate this I hate this. And to top it all off, argh. No one really knows, and no one really understands, and no one will ever do. It’s one big jigsaw puzzle that will never fall into place.

Can someone dedicate Michael Buble’s “Lost” to me, and really mean every single word in it.

Can’t believe it’s over, I watched the whole thing fall,
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall.
If I’d only knew, the days were slipping past,
That the good things never last,
That you were crying.

Summer turned to winter, and the snow it turned to rain,
And the rain turned into tears upon your face.
I hardly recognize, the girl you are today,
And God I hope it’s not too late.

‘Cause you are not alone, I’m always there with you,
And we’ll get lost together, till the light come pouring through
When you feel like you’re done, and the darkness has won,
Babe you’re not lost…
When your world’s crashing down, and you cannot bear the cross,
I said babe you’re not lost.

Life can show no mercy, it can tear your soul apart,
It can make you feel like you’ve gone crazy but you’re not.
Things have seemed to change, there’s one thing that’s still the same,
In my heart you have remained, and we can fly, fly, fly away…

‘Cause you are not alone, and I am there with you,
And we’ll get lost together, till the light comes pouring through.
When you feel like you’re done, and the darkness has won,
Babe you’re not lost…
And the world’s crashing down, and you cannot bear the cross,
I said baby you’re not lost.

And the worst part is, I’m not really sure which damn issue is bothering me most. Tell me somebody, what is the thing responsible for making me cry.

But there’s not anyone to call me baby anymore.

Japheth dear gimme a hug. I cannot think of who else there is now.

Kiss me, out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

[Chorus:]
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon’s sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We’ll take the trail marked on your father’s map

[Chorus (repeat)]

i’m feeling in the mood for this song tonight. kiss me, somebody ;>

i saw this on jason leong’s blog, which i came across from a link in kennysia.com. found this post, which i felt that i simply had to share ^^

1. Whenever you hold your girlfriend/boyfriend’s hands on a romantic date, you can’t help but check for clubbing, splinter haemorrhages, temperature, pulse rate, etc etc. Also, before you kiss, you check for central cyanosis, dentition and hydration status.

2. You diagnose the Simpsons with familial jaundice.

3. You have a ‘favourite spot’ in the library, and whenever someone else happens to sit in ‘your’ spot when you get to the library, you feel like politely impaling him with a nearby chair.

4. Picking up Kumar and Clark with one hand is easy business and your biceps are roughly the same size as that book.

5. Incidentally, picking up books comprise of 50% of the physical exercise that you do. The other 50 % is putting them down.

6. When your girlfriend puts on a sexy new dress and asks you how she looks, you respond, “Upon general inspection, you look comfortable and gorgeous; and there are no signs of abnormal pigmentation or fats bulging out at inappropriate places. I would now like to proceed with palpation”.

7. Your social life consists of calling up your mother and telling her why you don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend.

8. You look down on Arts students.

9. All the ward sisters are sick of you.

10. All the patients you auscultate have permanent indentations where you put your stethoscope for half an hour without moving because you “want to indentify the heart sound”, which your patient soon develops, regardless of whether he had cardiovascular problems or not.

11. When buying watermelons, you check the quality through percussion.

12. You have recently become very religious, and your daily ritual includes worship of the Son of (just leave out the son of and keep it to the one true God?) the one true God, Prof. Peter Lee.

13. You have cut down on unnecessary activities like bathing and toilet visits to have more time to study.

14. You get an allergic reaction which includes and are not limited to : - fits, shock, rashes and blackouts when at the end of a lecture, you forget to ask the lecturer questions.

15. You plan to stop reading halfway through this list to go study.

16. And never plan to come back and finish this list after you finish studying

17. Because you will never stop studying

18. You sleep with your lab coat on to save time changing into it for your hospital session the next morning.

19. You sleep for only 2 hours a day.

20. You sleep at the hospital.

21. When your car breaks down, instead of popping up the hood and staring at it aimlessly like most normal people, you write down a list of differentials on what may have caused the malfunction, examine the car to the best of your ability and present your findings in a condensed, precise 5 minute presentation complete with the investigations you deem appropriate and a brief discussion on management to the arriving mechanic.

22. You actually understand half the jokes on this list.

23. Your understanding of current affairs include the impending war on Iraq, the recent general elections where Barisan Nasional wrested the control of Terrenganu, the tsunami which devastated South East Asia and the sizzling new celebrity romance involving Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.

24. You wonder how Wolverine’s body doesn’t develop an inflammatory process against his adamantium skeleton, which is obviously a foreign body.

25. While reading through this list, you cannot help but write down T for true or F for false in pencil beside each sentence. Subsequently, at the end of this list, you are disappointed that there are no answers for which you can compare with, and therefore unable to determine your marks.

you know what i like,
you know what i don’t like.
you know what i want,
you know what i don’t want.
you know what makes me happy,
you know what makes me angry.
you should know better.
no trespassing boundaries please.

seriously, i am so loved.

turning 21st on 14th june. so far, i’ve already got:
a pair of clarks (present from me to myself XD )
a pair of earrings (from dad)
a ticket to see eason (from kajie)
a handbag (was supposed to be from mum, then turned out that it was from kenneth kho kho ^^)
the witch of portobello (from aiting. i know it’s supposed to be a replacement, but wth i’ll just regard it as a gift too haha so perasan)
the jeffrey archer short story collection+handmade bookmark (from my dearie laogong jiahui)
a song (probably, from my dearie buddy)
an anticipated gift+celebration (you know who you are, it better be worth a month of curiosity hehe)

so what happened today was… i woke up first really early in the morning to the morning calls that i’ve grown so used to. then i slept again and the second time it was my dear wan calling. he’s supposed to have promised to drive me to sunway pyramid tomorrow, but since something came up last minute it had to be today.

and so today we went. left rawang quite late, and reached kl sentral around 4.30, and was told to get to the bangsar lrt station. it was raining cats and dogs and cows and lambs. thank goodness i didn’t really have to walk in the outdoors, because i didn’t bring an umbrella. waited and waited, then finally he came, and as promised, i was the first non-family-related female to be his passenger in his new car, hehe. and i brought along a cuddly toy to put in his car. to be frank, it was something that someone gave me long ago, which i had cherished a lot, but had been boxed up and forgotten (well, not really forgotten, it’s always there on my mind, just that i never got the chance to take it out again). and so when i came across it in the morning while turning out the cupboards, i thought to myself, it’s green, wan likes green, his new car should be green, so this green bear should do just fine in his car =) it’s still as good as new anyway ^^ and yea, now it’s sitting in his car.

i like hanging out with wan. even though he does irritate the hell out of me and makes me want to kick him so hard he kneels down and begs for mercy at times. but today, besides the normal snide jokes about my weight and my oversized bum and the need for a liposuction, he was quite sweet actually =) i had a great time today. thanks a lot mate =) and yea you don’t have to be a national fencing champion to make me proud to have you as a friend, you’re good enough as you already are ^^

and of course, the highlight of the day, the reason i went to sunway pyramid in the first place, to see my khokho and get my handbag of course =) then when i wanted to pay him, he said, it’s a very late valentine’s and a very early birthday gift =) aww… now you made me so guilty because i didn’t get you anything pulak… kho you’re such a gem. BB you’re so lucky to have him ^^

quite tired now actually. will blog again tomorrow. want to go get something to drink before i hit the sheets. maybe steal a bite of the jcos that i bought just now, and as wan said, it’ll go straight to my bum =.=|||

ps: the part where i got into the car and he told me to change the cd from his nasyid to another self-burnt cd was cute too. i asked him, lagu pe ni? to which he replied, the naughty songs, hehe. which turned out to be a great compilation of oldies and jazz. which i enjoyed a lot. which made me almost didn’t want to get out of the car. which reminded me of some happy times that i once had. someone get me a frank sinatra compilation please.

i think this is the umpteenth time i’ve changed the layout (also the header) of my blog for the past 24 hours. those of you who were kind enough to drop by (and also those bugged by me to come) would’ve seen the changes.

so now i’m quite satisfied with this one. even though the header image is rather simple and bland (in fact the whole page is super simple), but then again i think this is what i want right now. simplicity. and also because i fell in love with the photo the moment i saw it on the slideshow on the closing ceremony of the HOPE conference that i attended a few days ago. picture taken by brandon lim.

i don’t think i’ll be blogging much about the conference, as yeeming has already done a great job capturing the essence of things at the amsa ukm blog that he manages. but what i’m happy about is that yeah, i have learnt some things from the conference, and also, as with my other previous experiences at other camps and stuff, even though i make new friends fast, but essentially it’s only one or two that i really feel the want to treasure at the end of the day.

and as of this case, the winner has got to be lil japheth hands down, hehe. he’ll be turning 18 this year, and he’s the brother of rue-hann, one of the organizing committees of the mission possible conference. so far he’s the one who’d have kept in touch since the conference ended, besides the odd smses from one or two others. he reminds me of a younger louis, hmm… i miss that kid too. bumped into him the other day near his house. hope i can meet up and catch up with him more in the days to come. these two lil bros are just so lovable. sayang korang banyak2 ^^

semester starts soon. jiahui messaged me last night, telling me that the three of us (jiahui, zhiyi and yours truly) will be staying in ktdi, the hostels within the areas of the hospital, and that mimi will have to stay in laman midah… oh i had hoped for the four of us to stay together again, i like staying with them. but now, oh well, i guess we’ll just have to accept whatever’s allocated. will be going to register for the rooms this friday, and then moving the stuff from vistana to ktdi on saturday via a truck that zhiyi hired, and then on sunday kajie and future bro-in-law will help me move my stuff from home to ktdi. probably parents will come too, not sure about that yet.

will be departing for the PPD camp somewhere in perak if i’m not mistaken, on monday. it’ll last a whole week. hmm. hopefully it won’t be too boring or whatever of that sort.

spent a lot of time on gtalk with xiaochen and aiting lately. good to hear from them, and can’t wait to see them. irene, chien and huiwen, where are the three of you?

met up with chenyet for brunch yesterday, it was nice talking to him. it’s like, having him around is almost akin to having an anchor to the place where i grew up. he’s the one whom i’ve known since kindergarten, and even though we’ve not been exceptionally close throughout the growing up years, lately it’s because of our different-from-others’ schedules that made us closer. he’s that sense of home. talked about our love lives. talked about our friends. talked a bit about the future. and most of all, we did what we do best, we ate and laughed and crapped a whole lot =)

and after that i went to sg wang. what for, you may ask, was i doing, going to sg wang alone. well, truth is, hehe, omg i’m so happy about it thinking of it makes me smile, i went to get eason’s concert tickets! kajie said she’d sponsor me the rm178 ticket as my 21st birthday present, and then i topped up another rm90 myself to the rm268 tickets. will be going with jiahui my dearie laogong, hehe. she was like, oh eason’s coming? just get the tickets, i’m ok with whatever you’re ok with ^^ so nice la this laogong hehe. i’m going to see eason. finally~!!!

and the best part is, my wish came true, the concert will be on the 14th of june 2008, the day i turn 21. actually i have no idea why 21 is such a special age, just that it’s always been the age for people to celebrate big time. and how can it get any better, than to attend my favourite singer’s concert on my special day? hehe. oh yea if he would just sing happy birthday for me i think i would just die on the spot, hyper-overwhelmed haha.

i’ll be going to sunway pyramid to meet kenneth later, to get the bag that he purchased at staff price on my behalf ^^ i so love my new bag. the old one has got highlighter stains all around it. and the best part of all? my dear wan will be driving me there =) wan you’re such an unpredictable friend. sometimes you can be the biggest a**h*** of all when you drive me nuts with your sarcasm and mock, so much that i want to strangle you, but at times you can just be sooooooooooooo nice. i have no idea what to make of you. i just know that you’re a very special friend to me =)

enough yakking, have to continue cleaning and packing. how come they never seem to end? argh.

ps: just a picture i like a lot ^^

8 things i’m passionate about:

1. eason (of course!)
2. ice-cream (rum&raisin please^^)
3. shopping (shoes, books, music, clothes, things for people i love)
4. talking (the day i shut up will be the day i die)
5. 《恶作剧2吻》 (it’s great i tell you!)
6. old friends’ reunions (T6ers when are you girls coming back!)
7. good food (especially when the right people take me ^^)
8. medicine (i have to be, trying to cultivate the passion now)

8 things i say too often:

1. fuck! (too much for my own good in fact…)
2. shit
3. 妈的
4. yiu
5. technically
6. i’m fat
7. 叫他去死啦
8. whoa

8 books i’ve read recently:

1. the god of small things - arundhati roy
2. complications - atul gawande
3. the oxford handbook of clinical medicine (just a bit)
4. kumar&clarks clinical medicine (an even tinier bit)
5. 月老 - 九把刀
6. 重量级情话 - 张小娴
7. a spot of bother - mark haddon (quite long ago, it’s been long since i’ve read non-acad books)
8. my old diaries (found them while cleaning my room)

8 songs i could listen to over and over again:

1. always be my baby - david cook
2. the scientist - coldplay
3. iris - goo goo dolls
4. lost - michael buble
5. 广岛之恋 - 莫文蔚/张洪量
6. hold me thrill me kiss me - mel carter
7. 海上花 - 蔡琴
8. eason’s get a life concert recording of course =)

8 things i learnt for the past year:

1. some things are not worth being sad for.
2. don’t lie to yourself.
3. be sporting, be spontaneous.
4. to laugh at myself.
5. that i can make a difference if i try.
6. to cherish friends, family, people, more than things.
7. to not take blessings for granted.
8. it’s easy to make friends, but hard to maintain them.

8 people to tag:

1. jiahui
2. ejy
3. japheth
4. yeeming
5. bengsiong
6. allan
7. fiona
8. zhiyi

right now, blogging in dewan kolegiat of kolej kelima of upm serdang, on maha’s laptop. i’m here a day earlier, just because i was afraid that i wouldn’t make it in time in the morning tomorrow. i may have to cut this short, because there’s this leonard guy who’s supposed to be one of the facis said that there’s to be a minor icebreaking session later… and i cannnot be excused. well i’ve already known almost half of the people here anyway… but then again oh well i’m just a delegate here so i don’t have much say isn’t it.

i’ll be roommates with stella, but she’s not here yet, so i’ll be staying alone tonight. i guess that’s not much of a problem, as there’ll be other neighbours around, and i’ve already spoken to cheryl, one of the OCs here, and apparently her room is just opposite mine.

i guess this camp is not such a bad thing after all. so what if it involves going to chowkit in one of the programs on the third day (i’ve practically spent two years around that place) and then another activity in sungei wang on the last day (where it’s almost become my second home during the last two years. well, make that the third, as vistana is my second home after all. oh i do miss that place, and my dear housemates… i will miss staying with them.) at least, i got to know some pretty nice people, like ruehann and soonkit and maha and cheryl and lots more to come.

i think this is what it’s about for me this time, meeting new people and learning new things. another (interesting, i hope) chapter in my life.

Your Thinking is Concrete and Random

You are naturally inquisitive and curious. You’re excited by new ideas, and you are a true independent thinker. You are interested in what is possible. You like the process of discovery. You are often experimenting, challenging old ideas, and inventing new concepts. Rules, restrictions, and limit don’t really work for you. You have to do things your own way, and you can’t be bothered to explain yourself.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

especially this line: “ You have to do things your own way, and you can’t be bothered to explain yourself.”

the skies are grey outside, the weather is cool, and the wind is just the way i like it to be. and i can hear the low, comforting rumble of distant thunder, like a deep growl, but not in a menacing way, with no sudden whipcracks of lightning after them, then sometimes shocked me, as much as i like to see the bolt of light striking through the sky… just the nicest weather i can think of to have an afternoon nap.

but i have to cut short of those now. 3rd year will be starting soon, i cannot afford to accustom myself to the luxury of having naps everyday… and besides, i still haven’t started studying the few topics that jy told me to. i guess i’ll begin after this, after i finish this post, after i cut my fingernails (they’ve been irritating me for days now, i cannot understand how some people can keep theirs so long), and after i put the porridge to cook.

the thunder is still rolling.. =) it’s been quite some time since i’ve encountered such nice weather, pardon me for going on and on about it. because, it’s either been too hot and stuffy, or too wet and humid lately. i like it just like this, i like the equanimity i feel in the air around me, in me. equanimity, a new word i learned today, it means calmness, and composure. i like the sound of it, the way it rolls off ones tongue. equanimity.

i just finished reading “the god of small things”. thanks to abby, who posted a comment in kak min’s blog’s comment box, quoting a passage from the book. i recognized it again as i was reading it.

they all tampered with the laws that lay down who should be loved and how. and how much. the laws that make grandmothers grandmothers, uncles uncles, mothers mothers, cousins cousins, jam jam, and jelly jelly.

it was a time when uncles became fathers, mothers lovers, and cousins died and had funerals.

it was a time when the unthinkable became thinkable and the impossible really happened.

it was the few lines above that made me want to read it so much. abby said she adored it, all the little details in the book. initially i was supposed to borrow it from her, should i ever be near klsentral, as she worked near there and she could just come down to meet me and pass it to me. and alas when i was around there that day, i realized i didn’t save her number in my phone.

but luck was on my side. when i went to visit another friend that day, to my delight, there it was, the god of small things, sitting on one of the shelves. and so i took it home =)

and abby was right, the amount of attention paid to the little details made it an exceptional read. in fact, it was those little details that made me love the book so much. the storyline reminded me greatly of another all-time favourite of mine, harper lee’s to kill a mockingbird.

in fact, a lot of little things, and how the story was told, reminded me of to kill a mockingbird. how the story’s main characters were two siblings, a sister and a brother, how the story was told as if seen through the eyes of the little girl (more so with mockingbird, though), and how the issues of racism and caste and the dirty play of law-enforcers (and a lot of politics in the god of small things too), and also the rage and the helplessness and fury of seeing injustice being dished out like that but we cannot do anything about it. because we are the smaller things. the greater things that dictate the whole picture does not allow us smaller things to do as we please lest we disrupt the bigger picture.

but still, the god of small things had a more tragic tone to it. maybe it’s because it’s set in a small town of india, where family tragedies seem to be of norm in literature (and possibly real life as well). the book ended, with a chapter that denoted the beautiful, yet forbidden and condemned love between a man and a woman who were not supposed to even be in the same room, breathing the same air, and yet, sigh. how do i put it, it is just so saddening. the story ended when they were still happy, as if to compensate for the tragedy that we’ve already known its ending much earlier on in the book. le sigh.

i’ll have to end this post here… as much as i’d love to go on. but then again there are other things waiting for me to do. as in pack, for the camp this 1st to 4th of may…

(this tag dah basi dah… it’s been sitting there for so long and i didn’t do it =P sori ler allan hehe)

List out the top 5 presents you wish for:

• a new walkman phone maybe, since i’ve got two numbers now, i’m not complaining if i get more music =P
• tickets to eason’s concert, if he’s coming, that is =P
• all-expenses paid trip to someplace where i can rest and relax and laze around as if i have all the time in the world…
• A nice watch, Swiss made (allan this one i tiru yours hehe)
• all-expenses paid wireless broadband for one year ^^

The person who tagged me is allan

Your 5 impressions of him:

• someone i met through the internet
• erm, solved a lot of my tech problems =P (you know how bad i am with IT stuff)
• last time always tell me money not enough
• now probably still money not enough
• i don’t really know you that well do i, allan? hehe.

The most memorable words she said to you
hmm… macam takde je…

If he becomes your lover, you will
(blank expression) never thought of it before la.

If he becomes your enemy, the reason will be
i said something really unsensitive that pissed him off?

Pass the quiz to 5 peoples that you wish to know how they feel about you:

• aiting
• jiahui
• ejy
• weehowe
• xiaochen
  

1. Who is No 1 having relationship with?
i cannot disclose here =P

2. Who is No 4 having relationship with?
who else but his dear looloo

3. If No 3 and No 2 are together, will it be a good thing?
bwahahaha i cannot imagine, the two people who sayang me most eh? kekekeke

4. What about No 4 and No 5?
bwahaha x1000, i don’t think so… even though xc oso in NUS, she got no time to paktor la hehe.

5. What is No 3 studying?
ukm lor… my senior mah…

6. When is the last time you chatted with No 5?
hmm.. few weeks back on gtalk? girl wat happened to our birthday get-together plans?

7. Does No 4 work?
nah. don’t think so.

8. Do you have any cousin in his/her own school?
mana aku tau…

9. Will you be with No 1?
haha, same weight same height same fate la us, cannot be together one. just almost the same stories to tell je hehe.

10. How about No 5?
i’ve known her like since forever. we’re both straight.

11. Does No 2 have any siblings?
nope, the one and only.

12. How did you get to know about No 2 and No 4?
2 is coursemate housemate roommate everything-mate. 4 is… same matrics dulu but got to know him better through msn last year.

13. Where does No 1 live at?
taman lili serendah hehe.

14. How did you get to know No 3?
knew he existed in secondary school, forgot about him then met him balik in ukm.

15. Is No 5 the sexiest person in the world?
i know you would be happy if i said you were darling, but i prefer takeshi kaneshiro more haha.

and so i’m back. nothing much, just a line. don’t really feel like blogging still. just that i’ve been online for hours now and i don’t know what to do, and i teringat i had this abandoned blog, so… datanglah jenguk jap… i’m still alive, no worries. just don’t feel like blogging. what i need to share, is shared already, with the appropriate persons in my life.

due to the amount of misunderstandings and irritations arising from my blog, i’ve decided to go on a hiatus, until i feel like i want to blog again. all these confusions have left me drained and am constantly in a bad mood. plus, i’m sick and i want to rest. oh whatever, to hell with it. to hell with everything.

mwahahahahahaha, i’ve passed, i’ve passed, i’ve passed!

HUKM, see you in May!

(oops, it’s supposed to be UKMMC now, but who cares, to me it’ll always be HUKM ^^ )

I gues this is the first long public post I’ve had in a very long while. It is now 10:13pm, April 6, 2008, Sunday. I’ve had a very long and tiring day, and the only reason why I’m still up instead of being safely snug under the bedcovers is that I just took my bath and my hair is still wet and I’m waiting for it to dry, so might as well just type a post.

Again, read at your own risk, as this would just be merely a boring report of what I did in the past few days. No jokes, no puns, no plots, nothing interesting, in fact.

Well, let’s start with a bit of the gist of the past few days. On Thursday I actually started driving again! Hehe, after a whole three years after getting my license but have never driven once. Well, didn’t really go far, plus in the morning it was all well when I was out with the uncle who taught driving in his little Kancil, but when it was in the evening and I was out in my dad’s auto Matrix, everything was so different, the car was bigger and the steering was lighter and I was definitely more nervous because my dad would probably skin me alive if I scratched his car. So now my driving skills are still confined to the roads in my housing area, not ready to face the big roads and the rowdy traffic yet.

Friday, I got two books, but not exactly received them yet. My dearest roomie Jiahui bought me The Collected Short Stories by Jeffrey Archer, containing my all-time favourite short story, Christina Rosenthal. Aiting got me The Witch of Portobello, for she accidentally dog-eared my other book that I lent to her previously. Thanks, the two of you, thanks for the wonderful books. I know I’ll enjoy them.

And also, I saw a full rainbow, which made me very very very happy =)

Saturday was mostly spent with another wonderful friend a.k.a. my buddy JY. Met him up around 11.30, and then we went for an early lunch, because I woke up kind of late and decided to skip breakfast altogether. Went to eat at the place that we visited on our previous meeting, a restaurant quite near my home. The prices are reasonable, and there’s good music, and of course, most importantly, the food is decent. Spent quite a long time there, because, as usual, eating is tedious when you’re busy talking and laughing and choking over jokes. I lent him my two great Tsai Qin DVDs, and the book Cat O’ Nine Tales, and also gave him the little turtle soft toy I brought back from Redang.

After lunch we went to the Popular bookstore in town, and yet surprisingly two book-lovers like us had no mood to browse through the bookstore that day. Probably partly due to the fact that we’re already used to big stores like Kinokuniya and Borders (for me) and the enormous Popular in Petaling Street (for him). Or also probably due to the little shock we had prior to getting to the bookstore, something that I would definitely not want to be involved in ever again. And so we left the bookstore, and went instead to the McDonald’s across the road as I said I felt like having some ice-cream.

Ordered two Cornetto McFlurry’s, one strawberry and one chocolate, and just sat there and talked and talked and talked. Asked quite some bits about life in the clinical years, and of course the usual stuff that we talk about: life, music, books, movies, society and of course, gossip, hehe. Finally left around 3 when the skies begin to fill with dark clouds.

That night, mum and I went over to my aunt’s place, two of my cousin sisters were back for Ching Ming and also to celebrate my aunt’s birthday. I had already been going through some old photo albums before I went over in my own house, and then over there they took out some really old albums that I’ve never even seen before and we had a good time looking at the pictures, reminiscing old times and also squabbling over who was who in the pictures, hehe. Took some pictures of those photos with my camera phone, might put them up later, if I have the time to edit them and put them in order.

And then later that night I was on the phone again, as I finally snapped out of my moody phase that night after seeing my cousin sisters (even though I did talk with JY in the afternoon, even he sensed that something was amiss, as I was still in the so-not-me phase then), I felt like talking, and I did. I was on the phone till 2:30am, and then I had to wake up 3 hours later at 5:30am to get ready to go to the temple in KL for Ching Ming to visit and clean my grandparents urns.

This year, dad did the cleaning as usual for my paternal grandparents, but I did get to clean my maternal grandmother’s urn and also my dear cousin brother’s urn. I don’t know why, as much as I love my grandparents, the sight of their urns don’t make me tear up every time I see them, unlike my cousin bro’s urn, which never failed to bring tears to my eyes every year I come to see him, no matter how many years have passed. But they’d come as quickly as they’d go, and I’d be happily talking to the urn, as if he’d be listening still, reporting what I’ve done in the past year, and also telling him of the good things about to happen in the family.

After that, we went to my future brother-in-law’s house to freshen up before we went shopping in KLCC. Mum bought herself a top, and also two formal shirts for me. The first one was a dark blue top that she chose for me, even though the brown striped shirt attracted me more, she told me I have enough striped shirts for now, and said that the other looked better instead. It wasn’t too bad, so I obliged. In fact, now I’m glad she bought that one, because the cutting of the shirt is better and it fits better. And then when she was paying for that one, my eyes wandered and caught sight of another deep purple shirt on the racks behind the counter. So I just took it, changed into it, showed her and changed out of it and handed it to her to be paid It was love at first sight for me towards the second shirt, and the cloth was far better than the first one, in fact, I think I like this material most in all of the shirts that I have now. The ones from Elements are fine, the two I got from Communique are not bad, the ones from Padini are… ahem, let’s say I don’t think I’d be getting them anymore. But this one, is the most comfortable so far, I think. And the cutting is superb too.

Then my cousin Mel and her dad arrived by LRT to take my parents and I to the shop where they were helping out in Central Market, while my sister and her husband-to-be shopped in KLCC. It’s been so many years since I’ve been to Central Market, almost 4 years, I think? Spent the whole afternoon loitering about there. Mum bought a pair of Crocs, a traditional-looking Chinese blouse, and dad also bought himself a traditional shirt. I wanted to get a decent qipao, but they didn’t have any stock in my size, so, there’s that. Dad was in a good mood too, he’d have bought it if I did manage to find anything suitable. Well, apparently luck’s not on my side too much today.

But then again, luck was on my side long enough for mum to tell me that I can have that pair of Clark’s for my birthday, hehe. I told her to just pay for half, lest my sister said mum was being unfair, for she never got such great shoes from mum before, hehe. So I think I’ll just get them if I see them tomorrow, when I go KL again. I just hope that I can still find a new pair.

Oh dear me I’m really sleepy now I guess I’ll just have to make a hasty stop here. May edit this later, or maybe not, depending on my mood when I finally get to post this up. Goodnight world.

ever since the holidays have started i’ve been in a constant weird mood. i guess mainly it’s due to boredom, stuck at home with nothing exceptionally fun to do, except watch tv and go online and sit and rot and being nagged and scolded and chores.

and my mood has been so weird that i don’t even feel like blogging. bah.

i really thought of sitting down nicely and blog about something, for instance, my first time driving again ever since i got my driving license in early 2005. it’s been 3 years since i’ve been behind the steering. i thought that it would be a nice thing to blog about, but now, i’ve kinda lost the mood. well, maybe i’ll edit this and update a bit more later. but chances are most likely not.

essentially, i should be free. but i don’t think i am. something is bugging me, weighing me down, but i cannot put a name on it. will someone wise enough come enlighten me? and please, no puns or foolish jokes are to be made. my sense of humour has gone with the wind, along with most of my patience and creativity.